after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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