He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
