It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
