I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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