You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize