I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
