Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
