I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
