I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
