...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I could make wine with my vomit
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
