Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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