I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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