And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
