he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
