im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
