This girl is more easily done than said...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
