Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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