Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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