You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
