glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
