it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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