i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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