worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
