no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
