The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
