After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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