Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
