oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
