Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
