This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
