At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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