I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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