I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
