Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
