hotel room ftw
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
