I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
