Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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