The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
