Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
