I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
