Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
