how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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