I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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