On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She needs sedatives and a leash
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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