does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
