guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
