Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
