she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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