This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
