It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
