Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
