shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
