she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
