we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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