I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize