I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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