need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
