He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
