She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
